Last Night . . .

We had a great night last night! Riley went to bed promptly at 7:00. He woke up several times throughout the night, but only for a minute or two and quickly soothed himself back to sleep. I did get up with him once at 5:00 AM. I had heard him wake up at 3:30 & 4:00 and again at 5:00, and I had convinced myself that he was probably hungry which was why he kept waking up. I nursed him and had him back to sleep by 5:15 and then he didn't get up for the day until 7:30.

For me, sleeping most of the night (from 10:00 until 5:00 and then again until 7:30) was Divine! I know I should have done this earlier, but I really wasn't ready until now. And it is a little embarrassing that I complained and complained about being so sleep deprived, but I was the one standing in the way of it the entire time. Oh, well, live and learn, I guess! Anyway, I am so happy and relieved that the process has been so painless.

Here's looking forward to a full night's sleep tonight for everyone. Happy Mother's Day to me!!

Extinction Burst . . .

Last night was pretty great, except for the 30 minutes of absolute screaming that happened at midnight. I've come to believe that my neighbors are either night owls, or deaf because I didn't get any upset knocking on my door last night. I don't think Riley couldn't have howled any louder! I must be getting hardened against the crying though, because I fell asleep in the middle of his cry-fest. Here is how our night went:

Down for bed at 8:00

woke at 10:37 - I let him cry himself back to sleep

asleep by 10:42

woke at 11:58 - I comforted him and told him it was Sleepytime, then laid him back down in his bed and the screaming began

I believe he went back to sleep around 12:30-ish

woke at 3:24 - My goal was to have him go 6 hours without nursing, but he went 7 1/2! He nursed until 3:39

woke for the day at 7:20

Not bad! I am interested to see what happens tonight. I think that I am going to try not nursing him at all tonight. We are going to load up on dinner, and nurse a lot before getting ready for bed. I think he and I are both ready to really take the plunge!

Wish us luck!

WWAAAAAHHHH!!! . . . . . . zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Last night was . . . Awesome! Here is how it went:

Down for bed at 8:20

Woke at 10:08 (because the dog barked, argh!!)

I went into his room, picked him up and rocked him and told him it was Sleepytime. Laid him back down in bed and of course he absolutely screamed his head off for a full . . . 2 minutes! I had to stop and really listen because I couldn't believe what I wasn't hearing! Amazing!

He woke again at 12:35. I repeated what I did last time and he was back to sleep by 12:38. Three minutes! Seriously?! This is so cool!

Woke again at 1:38. This time I nursed him and he was back in bed, asleep and full, by 1:55.

Woke again at 4:55, and was back to sleep by 5:00.

I mean, Riley still woke up 4 times, and I honestly think that if I had let him cry just a minute or two longer a couple of those times he might have put himself back to bed, but this was better than I even hoped for. One interesting tidbit, when I told him it was Sleepytime I could feel his body relax for a beat and he would yawn and lay his head on my shoulder, but almost immediately after that he would sit up and start shifting around, almost as if he wanted to find a more comfortable place to go back to sleep.

I am actually looking forward to tonight!

In the book "Sleeping through the Night" the author talks about something called an "Extinction Burst", which means that sometimes they will cry longer the next night, just to make sure that you are serious. But then, the third night the crying will decrease significantly. However, I would like to think there is a good possibility that we might repeat or improve on what happened last night and avoid the Extinction Burst altogether. I feel like I just need to give him another minute or two to try to soothe himself back to sleep before coming into his room. He wants to sleep, and if feels like he kind of understood what he was supposed to be doing. He just needs a little bit more coaching.

My perfect Mother's Day gift was to be able to sleep through the night, just for one night. Maybe I'll actually get what I was hoping for and a whole lot more! Woohoo!!

The Plan (part 2) . . .

Okay, so tonight might be interesting. Gary and I had ourselves a date night and when we got home Riley was not in bed. Our babysitter tried to get him to go to sleep, but I think she secretly didn't mind keeping him up, hanging out with him, and reading him tons of books! I actually feel the same way, so I completely understand! I ended up getting him down at 8:20, an hour later than usual. He did take his two naps today, but they were a bit shorter than I would have liked. I am mentally preparing myself for the worst, but really hoping that things will go as smoothly as they did last night.

Here is the plan:

Tonight Riley will have to go 5 hours between nursings. Which means that the next time I will nurse him will be at 1:20 and then he can eat again at 6:20. If he wakes up before 1:20 I will go in his room and remind him that it is "Sleepy-time" and try to comfort him. If he is still crying after 10 minutes, then I will leave his room and he can cry until he falls asleep. In my experience, he usually cries no longer than 20-30 minutes before falling asleep, which I am mentally preparing myself to handle. Even though I got more sleep last night that I have had in a long time for some reason I was exhausted today, which makes me feel a little more sensitive. It might be a night full of tears for everyone, who knows? Then again, it could be fantastic! He often surprises me with how amazing he is.

Wish me luck!!

Report . . .

Well, it was kind of an interesting night last night, but before I get to that here are a couple of things I didn't mention in my earlier posts:

In addition to Riley waking up at all hours of the night, Jack has also been waking up early (think 4:30-ish) needing to go potty. Now, this wouldn't be a big deal if we had a yard, but we don't, so you have find your flops and a sweatshirt and then put his leash on him and grab a baggy. I have been doing this for two reasons: One, I am already awake because of Riley. Two, we made a deal a long time ago that Gary would walk Jack at any time throughout the night, but after 4:30 I take over. This began a few years ago because I was waking up at 5:00 and Jack and I were getting our exercise by walking around the neighborhood.

Well, something had to change so I fed him his dinner at 4:30 yesterday and I didn't have to wake up before dawn to walk him this morning, yeah!! However, I think it might have been a bit early because by the time Gary and I ate dinner Jack was completely hounding us for a hand out (excuse the expression), and he was acting like he was totally starving by the time we were getting ready for bed. Perhaps I will move it a little later tonight, like about 5:30, and see if we can still push off the pre-dawn walk.

I have been trying to get Riley to take a late afternoon nap around 3:30 or 4:00, but have yet to be really consistent with it. Yesterday I laid him down at 4:15 and he cried and cried and cried for about 25-30 minutes and then slept until 5:30. Enduring the crying kind of prepped me for what I figured I would have to go through over the next few days. And you know, it wasn't too bad. So because he had an excellent late-afternoon nap I put him to be a bit later than usual (7:45 vs. 7:00) and he went right to sleep, no crying at all. So perhaps all the books are right when they say good naps = good nights. We are definitely going to keep this up.

I also am going to change Riley's bedtime routine a bit. In an attempt to disassociate nursing with sleeping even more, I am going to nurse him at the very beginning of our routine instead of at the end. I had thought about this earlier after talking with a friend of mine (thanks Lisa!) and then I forgot when I was getting Riley ready for bed last night. I popped him into the tub as usual and then I remembered. So I nursed him after I got a new diaper on his cute butt, and then put him into his jammies when he was finished. It was still near the end of the routine, but I had tried pushing it back as much as possible. I am also going to start nursing him AFTER naps instead of BEFORE.

Now on to the nighttime:

So, like I mentioned earlier, I got Riley to bed at 7:45, which meant that if he woke up before 11:45 then I was going to get him to sleep without nursing him, even if that means just letting him cry himself to sleep. Well, surprisingly enough he woke up at 11:50, so I nursed him and put him back to bed. Then I went back to my bed and wrote down the time and calculated in my head what time he would need to sleep until before I would nurse him again and I promptly went back to sleep. The next time he woke up was 2:40 and I was incredulous because I couldn't believe that he had slept another 4 hours (even if it is 10 minutes shy)! So I went in a nursed him but he didn't fall completely asleep in my arms, which I discovered when I went to lay him in his bed and he instantly started crying. So I held him for a couple of minutes and told him it was Sleepy-time, and the whole time he is yawning and yawning, so I bit the bullet and laid him down and walked out the door and, of course he starts screaming his head off. I am preparing for the worst but he has fallen asleep within 2 minutes! Woohoo! When I went back to bed and wrote down the times and what happened and finally realized that he didn't sleep 4 hours, he only slept 3 hours! Argh!! My plan is foiled, and I only have myself and my own sleepiness to blame! However, I still think it was a pretty good night, waking up only twice compared to 5 times is a HUGE improvement.

Now, today I am definitely going to push that late afternoon nap again. But I haven't come up with a firm plan for tonight. Like I said earlier, I want to make this a fast transition, so I won't be repeating the 4 hour rule again, but I don't know if I am prepared to force him to go 6 hours yet, perhaps I will just make him wait 5. I am going to think about it today and post my new plan this evening.

The Plan . . .

Thanks everyone for the great advice, understanding and support!

Some things for me to keep in mind tonight during the cry-fest:

-Comfort should come from Mom, not food

-One of the greatest things about babies is that they forgive, or more accurately, forget so quickly

-I promise he won't hold it against you in the morning

-It's harder for you than it will be for him

-It will pay off when he gets older

-You will be doing him a greater disservice by not helping to learn good sleep habits and be more independent

-It won't be hard forever, about a week at the longest, and then you will be kicking yourself for not doing it a lot earlier

I think that I am finally ready to really do this, which is great because I know that I have been the one standing in my own way all this time.

I still think it is kind of strange that by screaming himself to sleep he is learning to comfort himself, but apparently that is how it works. Weird, but I'm ready to give it a chance.

Here is tonight's plan:

I am not quite ready to go cold-turkey, since Riley has nursed every night his entire life and he is used to that full feeling (okay, I'm still being a little bit of a wimp, but bear with me as I plan on making this a quick transition). My plan is to feed him every 4 hours, instead of every 2. So, Riley went down to sleep at 7:45 tonight, and if he wakes up before 11:45 then I will go in his room and remind him that it is "Sleepy-time" and try to comfort him. If he is still crying after 10 minutes, then I will leave his room and he can cry until he falls asleep. In my experience, he usually cries no longer than 20-30 minutes before falling asleep, which I believe I can handle. I will keep repeating this, eating every 4 hours and comforting in between, until it is time for me to get up for my workout at 5 AM.

I apologize to the neighbors with whom we share a wall with in advance. Sorry, but in a short while we will ALL be sleeping better.

Wish me luck! I will report back in the morning!

Sleepytime . . .

I should be working out right now, but I am forgoing my workout this morning to send out a plea for help.

HELP!

I can't do this anymore! I know I have dug this hole for myself, even after receiving a ton of good advice. I just kept letting it go and thinking it isn't so terrible the way it is and now I have reached a breaking point and I just can't do it anymore. I need some good advice and a lot of support to dig my way back out again!

Let me give you and example of how my nights go:

Around 6:30 I take Riley upstairs to get ready for bed. I love his bedtime routine, and I feel like he really likes it too. It is as follows:

I give him a bath (he LOVES the water), wrap him in a towel and brush his three little teeth, put on a fresh diaper and give him a quick massage while I lotion him up, change him into his jammies, nurse him for about 10 minutes, read two bedtime books, turn off the light, snuggle him close to me while I sing him a quick lullaby, tell him it is "Sleepytime" (I use this word when I lay him down for naps too), lay him in his bed, hand him his lovey, put his blanket on him and leave the room by about 7:00.

Now, he usually cries for about one to two minutes and then falls asleep. The nice thing is that I feel that we have developed a decent bedtime routine so there isn't a lot, if any, drama.

So after Riley goes to sleep I am FREE! I am not someone who stays up really late and I am usually in bed no later than 10:00.

Here is how my night went Sunday night and again last night:

Sunday night:

I went to bed about 9:30

Riley woke up at 9:46, nursed to sleep and was back in bed by 9:52

woke at 11:30, back to sleep by 11:38

woke at 1:36, back to sleep by 1:46

woke at 2:56, back to sleep by 3:13

woke at 4:56, back to sleep by 5:20

(I get up at 5:00 to workout, so after that I am "off-duty" and Gary takes care of him. He changes his super wet diaper and either takes Riley back to bed with him or pops him in his swing, then Riley will usually wake up for the day around 7:00)

Last night:

I went to bed at 10:00

Riley woke up at 10:10, back to sleep by 10:25

woke at 11:15, back to sleep by 11:30

woke at 2:10, back to sleep by 2:27

woke at 4:25, back to sleep by 4:35

at this point Jack decided that he needed to go potty, I threw a little hissy fit about it, but took him out anyway

Riley woke again at 4:50, but I didn't go straight into his room and he was quiet by 4:52

We obviously have a problem

Waking up every two hours isn't good for anyone, including a baby.

Now, this is some of the reasoning that got me into this fix in the first place:

-Getting up to nurse him at night doesn't take a lot of effort or brainpower and it is the quickest and quietest way to get him back to sleep. It usually takes about 10-15 minutes, there is almost no crying and it is a surefire way to get him back to sleep.

-His whole life we have lived in an apartment or condo and share walls with our neighbors whom I would rather not disturb throughout the night with Riley's crying

-I am one of those lucky people that can almost instantly go back to sleep. Almost the minute my head hits the pillow I am out. And though I would prefer to have eight full hours of sleep, I function surprisingly well on this interrupted sleep schedule.

-Some might say, "Why doesn't Gary get up with him at night?" Well, really it is because Gary spends his workday in a car driving all over town and I didn't want him to be driving sleepy.

I have read several books on getting your baby to sleep more at night. The book that I really liked, appropriately titled "Sleeping Through the Night" is based on many sleep studies that have been done and she said that once you establish a good bedtime routine and your baby learns to comfort himself to sleep at bedtime then over the next two to three weeks they should begin to sleep longer at night, comforting themselves back to sleep as they wake at night, and eventually they will sleep all the way through the night. She said that until this happens, when they wake just put them back to sleep the way you normally do, which is what I have been doing, but it hasn't exactly worked out that way.

Some people would suggest that I just bite the bullet and let him cry it out. I just can't bring myself to do this. He is obviously used to eating and used to being comforted throughout the night. And even though I know that he can't spend his whole life with the feeling of a full belly all night long, I also can't bring myself to make him quit cold-turkey like that. What a rude awakening! Isn't there anything just a little more gentle than that? Okay, I know the answer to that question is to nurse him for a few minutes less each night until eventually he is only nursing for a few short minutes and then I can cut him off completely. I guess the reason I haven't done that yet is because it would require me to wake up even more and use some brainpower at 2 AM to keep track of how many minutes he has nursed. And then I know that I would cut down his nursing time and put him back into bed screaming and then I would go to bed and listen to his crying (which has gotten louder now that he is older and has found his "voice") and all kinds of horrible thoughts would run through my mind like, "Is this going to completely change our relationship by letting him scream for me and not answering him?", and "I'm sure my neighbors are wide awake now!", and "Is this really necessary? Won't he eventually just learn to sleep through the night on his own?"

I think what I really need is a firm plan and a lot of cheerleading. I need to be re-assured that I won't be "ruining" my relationship with my baby if I don't answer his cry for me.